4 months 5 days

Dear chittu  

Today was a usual start of the day with didi and papa going to their respective places. We dropped them to train station and got on with our day

After our daily massage and bath we set out for a walk to park

I decided to go to dog park for a change. 

On the way we met grandma who lives across the street 

We started chatting and before we knew she joined us for the walk with her grand daughter 

I was hesitant as it is our time where I do not like any interruption 

But I have been alone for so long with just you me papa and didi that I doubted if I have become a bit asocial 

So I just went on with walk with four of us you me and they grandma grand daughter duo 

But boy the kid was totally distressed and wanted to go back home

Grandma was tired managing the kid and I was like I want our casual walk and chit chatting go continue just two of us. 

You are just 4 months old but I like to think out loud to you and it is really a lot of fun for me at least

I feel like I can choose better things to think about and that keeps me away from all rubbish thoughts 

Now coming back to my original feeling that am I becoming asocial 

I don’t know. But I do know this- I don’t really care if I have become asocial as long as I am happy and calm with myself 

Do you also sometimes have a self doubt on certain social choices or preferences?

4 months and 4 days old

 Dear chittu 

Today you are 4 months and 4 days old

I am a proud mother of 2 beautiful daughters

Seeing you do all your antics and evolving skills is a feat in itself 

Light born I am glad to see that on your dad’s birthday you finally hit 5 kg mark 

That is all about tangible goals but best part is intangible 

You were already holding onto our hair and fingers but now you are touching and trying to hold my hands and it feels like you are claiming all of me

I am hopelessly in love and surrendering at your mere attempt to hold my hand. I feel like you own all of me

Your smile warms my heart but your giggles lights up my whole being like a sunshine 

Your singing is so soothing and funny at the same time

We also enjoy your fierce engagement in your dad’s e- meeting 

Yesterday you rolled on your tummy in front of your sister and she is super proud of you

I love when you look at your sister with immense love and pride and fascination 

I love when you look at your dad and give him ever warm smile. When he returns from a long day at work you hug him to take away entire day’s stress away and make him feel welcome and wanted 

And I love our massage and bath time where it’s just you and me and a lot of singing

I also like our boo boo party where I feel like you and me are a complete ecosystem 

But most part I love is our bonding as a family of four and we are st peace when we are together